I keep a notes file of interesting ideas, studies, mindsets, and practices I come across in articles, books, and podcasts. As the new year approached, I searched the list for something that resonated with me that I could turn into an intention for the upcoming year.
I wasn't, however, going to call these my resolutions. My hope was simpler than that: if I kept these ideas front of mind and practiced them consistently, and they genuinely improved my day-to-day life, they would quietly turn into habits that lasted without effort.
I settled on two strategies to experiment with. I’ll share one today and the second in an upcoming blog. The first one was related to cell phone use and presence.
Yes, this topic isn’t breaking news. We’re all a little too attached to our phones. And we’re very good at convincing ourselves that most of our scrolling, checking, and tapping is productive or necessary. But if we’re being honest, we know that’s not always true.
In a lecture I attended by Dr. Laurie Santos, a Yale professor known for her work on happiness, she shared ten evidence-based happiness strategies. Numbers six and seven focused on the importance of being in the present, which is something I talk about a lot. And our phones, as useful as they are, are incredibly effective tools for pulling us out of the present.
We tend to think doom-scrolling is the main culprit, but what about checking email, texts, the weather, directions, or your calendar? Once the phone is in your hand, it’s a slippery slope.
Dr. Santos shared a simple strategy, originally from health and science writer Catherine Price, that helps you become more mindful before you pick up your phone. It’s a quick mental pause built around three questions, known as "The Three Ws":
What for?
Clarify your intention. Are you reaching for your phone out of habit, boredom, or because you actually need something?
Why now?
Is this urgent, or is it just uncomfortable to be still for a moment?
What else?
What’s another way you could engage with your environment right now? When you choose to slip into phone-land, you're always giving up something else. What’s the cost in this moment? (Sometimes the cost is as simple as a moment of mental peace)
Here's your Ultimate You challenge:
Think about the moments when you automatically reach for your phone. First thing in the morning? When you get in your car? Walking the dog? In line at the grocery store?
For the next seven days, when you're in these situations, pause and ask yourself the Three Ws before picking up your phone. Maybe write "3W" on a sticky note and place it where these habitual phone moments tend to happen.
You're welcome to pick up the phone after you run through these questions. Sometimes it's a reasonable choice. We work on our phones, take pictures, communicate, listen to books, and navigate our days with them.
But for this week at least, that brief pause can help you notice how often your phone pulls you out of the present, and what you might be missing when “PHONE” becomes your automatic response to quiet moments.
After using the Three Ws framework for about a week, I’d already noticed a shift in my phone habits. It was a little shocking how often I was reaching for my phone without a real need for one of its functions. Reclaiming small pockets of presence, such as while folding laundry, gave me more space to think, dream, and let my mind wander. Those tiny moments add up, leaving your nervous system feeling noticeably more relaxed.
Enjoy the experiment this week as you notice how often you get pulled to your phone, what other options are available, and choosing, just occasionally, to stay right where you are.
In health and happiness,
